Change in the Air

I don't even know where to begin as far as tonight is concerned... so instead, I shall backtrack to the few nights ago that Bobbie, Riccie, and Eliza came over and stayed the night (Eliza stayed one night; Bobbie and Riccie have stayed for three full nights), which, as expected, created pandemonium in the apartment. Stephen wasn't there for the first night, and most of the second day, since Rose came home and he was spending time with her. She came over and stayed with us for a night before going home- that was the first time I'd officially met her; she seems really nice and outgoing and she's adorable; I really like her. So yeah... it's been pretty hectic here the last few days. Oh, and a few nights ago I picked Mike up from work and there was a full moon; the two of us went up to the hill and just stood there in the moonlight holding each other and enjoying the beauty of nature... we howled at the moon as well, which was a lot of fun (my howls were a bit pathetic compared to his... he truly is the werewolf =P ). The previous night we had watched a huge thunderstorm on the hill (the storm being off in the distance quite a good ways away; we left and went back to the apartment once the storm was getting closer).

Tonight was fun; we all went swimming for a while (I left the pool earlier than everyone else because swimming always tires me out so much... and I wanted to lay down and go to sleep) before coming home and taking a quick shower and then collapsing on Mike's futon and falling asleep for a bit. Called Grandmother- I can't wait to see her again... I need to call Mawmaw as well, but I will do so tomorrow because I actually have something of the utmost importance to tell them <3 Anywho... Mike came in a bit later and spent some time with me, before we went out to the living room and joined the others for a bit. Another awesome-spectacular-semi orgasmic thunderstorm came tonight.... it was great because when I stepped outside, I could feel a change in the atmospheric pressure, and the air was heavy with electricity from the coming storm... Mike and I went outside to watch it before it actually hit and we just sat on the metal bar outside next to the sidewalk (eh, not the brightest idea, sitting on metal during a thunderstorm, but hey, it was grounded ;D ) and then we went back in, only to come back out again when the thunder became so amazingly loud that we refused to stay inside... Mike grabbed his video camera and set it up on the tripod, and we sat on the stairs and watched the storm for quite some time. The lightning show was nothing short of spectacular and absolutely awe-inspiring; I'd never seen lightning the way I saw it tonight, but it made tonight even more amazing than I could even begin to describe.

During the course of our storm-watching, Mike and I had quite the conversation. We talked about one of our sketchy topics: The Future (cue dramatic music *dun dun dun*). The only difference is that this time.... the conversation was one that was really quite easy to have, and the result ultimately made me the happiest woman alive, hands down, no questions asked.

Mike asked me to come with him in August.

When those words came out of his mouth, my heart skipped a million beats, my eyes lit up, and I kid you not- lightning crackled across the sky, filling the air with an electric charge that made my hair stand on end. It was an amazing, beautiful moment; I smiled so big and just grabbed Mike and kissed him so hard.... Inside my head, I was screaming and jumping up and down and just all shades of happy and ecstatic and just so jovial and lighthearted... I felt like I could fly.... I spent the rest of the night smiling and laughing and screaming on the phone to Eliza and in the car with Bobbie on the way to Walmart.... and then I got into a fight with the vending machine at the pool, and it won.... but then Stephen gave me an art lesson and presented me with my own sketchbook so he can teach me how to draw... and tonight has just been amazing, because Mike and I came to so many realizations tonight and I cannot believe (well, I can... but still) that what I've wanted for is finally going to happen... I am just so...so.... there's not an emotion even relatively close to what I feel.... that's how great it is. <3 <3 <3 I really, honestly love him, would do anything for him, and now I can get that chance. August is not gloomy for me any more.

But now I must get off of here, as I have typed this thing on Mike's laptop... since mine is being dumb and slow as usual... and he still needs to blog.

I am just... well, to use Jake's phrase, I'M SO EXCITED! =D

Days Go By..

Each new day brings about a series of unprecedented events that ultimately lead to one of two options: Success or Failure. As of late, I have been experiencing both. Success has been found in my quest for happiness and that quest continues to grow and expand in this realm of life. Failure has been experienced in matters concerning the family dynamic; aside from my grandmothers, aunts, and uncle, my immediate family has all but (pardon the expression, it is perhaps a bit too fatalist, but it fits) left me to die on my own. Excommunicated, banished from my former home, and practically disowned, the relationship that used to exist between my parents and I has more than gone down the drain...it's gone all the way down to the core of my being and has rocked that core so hard that an earthquake of a 9.0 magnitude couldn't even come close to how I've felt these last few days. The reasons behind this exile go far and beyond retardation; why my mom sees fit to constantly criticize all that I do and put words and actions in my mouth and body, I have no idea. All I know is that this is MY life now, not hers. It has never been hers, and it never will be. I will never be like her... I will never do what she has done or say the things she has said. I will never destroy my family. I refuse. Of those things, I am certain... dead certain.

After being home alone for a while now, getting phone calls and job applications done, along with some side cleaning and laundry... I must go and pick Mike up from work. He gets off at 2PM and it is now 1:53...good thing he only works right down the road.

I shall write more later.